Fearing What Society Tells You

Fear. Fear is a distressing emotion brought upon us by the sense of an impending danger including: evil, pain, and anxiety.

There are several people that I have talked with that have told me what they fear the most. Their fears range from the fear of spiders to the fear of snakes to the fear of inner city kids. They fear these inner city kids because of the thoughts placed in their heads by society and their parents. They fear these kids because they associate them with gang violence and shootings. Are there inner city kids associated with gang violence and shootings? Yes but what they fail to realize is that so are the suburban kids that they don’t fear because society has told them they don’t have to.

How is it a kid from an upscale school that decides it’ll be cool to drink and drive any better than a gang fight or late night shooting connected to an inner city kid? Some people believe that they can go to a basketball game at Ridgeway (public school) and risk getting shot in the parking lot, but the truth is you can go to a basketball game at MUS (private school) and risk getting run over in the parking lot by a kid who had one too many. Kids from upscale schools(at least ones that I have meant) tend to think that they are invincible. They act as if the rules of life and death don’t apply to them because their parents have a lot of money in the bank. I hate to break it to them (not really), but mommy and daddy can’t buy them out of a manslaughter charge...

The lives that are put at stake on a daily basis from teenagers who want to earn some more cool points for playing with the odds against death pretty much amounts to an inner city kid getting into a fight at school over gang related activities. But how come others don’t see the connection? Statistics shows that drunk driving kills eight teens a day. That is eight kids that will never reach their full potential; eight kids that will never grow to fulfill their dreams; eight kids that now have to pay the ultimate price because someone decided it would be an adventure to get behind the wheel with alcohol in their system.

Kids from upscale schools are too busy fearing what society or their parents tell them to fear that they don’t see who they should truly fear, themselves. The point of this wasn’t to say that gang shootings or gangs in general are acceptable; the point of this was to show that we can’t turn a blind eye to the wrongdoings of others just because we live in a society that tells us we’re right even when we’re wrong. Drinking and driving may be different than a gang shooting, but it has the same risk nonetheless. They both have the potential of taking many lives. It’s about time for people to wake up and see the dangers that are right in front of them, not the dangers that their parents have drilled into their brains. At the end of the day once you’re gone you stay gone.

Keep Shining

“Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.”- Maya Angelou.

The light which shines from within is a feeling that many of us acquire when we finally defeat all types of negativity. It is a feeling of self worth, and a feeling of love that we share for ourselves. There comes a time in your life that you have to realize you won’t always have someone cheering in your corner; you won’t always have someone looking out for your best interest. Many people are waiting for you to let your guard down, so that they can expose your weaknesses. People are slow at understanding who you are as a person, but very quick at taking advantage of your vulnerability. It's amazing the lengths people are willing to go in order to pull ahead or gain a higher status.

Life is a lot like a game. You win some and you lose some. The day that you allow someone to take away who you are as a person you have lost the game.

It is not your job to try and get revenge; it is not your job to try and do what that person is doing to you. It is your job to smile in that person’s face and go on about your day. There’s a difference between smiling in someone’s face because you aren’t fazed by their comments, and smiling in someone’s face and allowing their words to affect how you think about yourself. What you have to remember is that at the end of the day you have to go to sleep with yourself and the next morning wake up with yourself. You have to live your life for you and no one else.

A clown can’t be a clown without an audience. If you don’t give a person the satisfaction of bringing you down, they will get bored and move on to the next person. When this happens, you have to hope for two things: Either that person grows up and sees that nothing good can come from trying to put someone else down, or that the next victim will have the same strength and mind set you had. As long as you love yourself and believe in yourself, no one else can bring you down.

The light which shines from within you should overpower the darkness that is constantly trying to haunt you. When we start to believe this, we will start to see many changes in our lives. Suddenly, the comments that used to bring us down no longer have their power. Suddenly, the authority figures who used their power to spite us no longer have an affect. Suddenly, the light is shining from within.

Because I am

She’s pretty… for a black girl. She’s athletic… for a black girl. She even has good hair… for a black girl. And she’s even pretty smart… for a black girl.

 These are words that are said as if there is a color spectrum in our minds that decides whether or not someone is pretty enough or fit enough to be judged or compared to women as a whole. Instead their looks and talents are limited to someone of “their own kind.” Is judging and comparing ourselves to other people something that we should do? No. We should be focused on ourselves and how we can be the best version of ourselves, not how we can transform our bodies into those from People magazine.

 I know it is not just a problem in America. It is a worldwide trend that people have unknowingly adopted over the years. When people make these comments they don’t understand the true ignorance of their words or how those words truly affect the person they are talking to. As a young black, female born and raised in the South I have had to deal with several ignorant stereotypes placed on me based on my skin color. For example: “Is that your real hair?” “Do you know who your father is?” “Do you only listen to rap music?” “What is the hood like?” These are several questions I have had the pleasure of being asked as I have grown up. I laugh now, but it still hurts that people feel the need to judge and dissect my life because I may not be the same race as they are.

We breathe the same air. We bleed the same blood, but for some reason I am still not

perceived the same way. And I hate to admit this, but in the past I have let these people’s comments affect how I saw myself. Those were the moments that I was sitting in my bathroom, staring at the mirror that I realized just how much I allowed their ignorance to over-run my thoughts. Suddenly I was looking down on myself wondering why I couldn’t be as pretty as the white girls or as fit as the girls on People magazine. Suddenly the countless times my parents told me I was beautiful just the way I was wasn’t good enough. And that is when a thought came to my mind… If I let these people’s ignorant comments affect me in such a way that I begin to doubt myself, maybe it is time for me to change how I think. Maybe it is time for all of us to change how we think. When we finally allow ourselves to change and to adapt to the new lifestyle of being better people we will begin to think differently about ourselves. For example: “I am pretty, but because I say I’m pretty. I am athletic, but because I say I’m athletic. I even have good hair, but because I say I have good hair. And I’m even pretty smart, but because I say I’m smart.”

            Words are only words. We get to decide how we want to interpret them. If we stop focusing

on what everyone around us is thinking, we will start to see how we begin to grow into the people God intended for us to be. It’s about time for us to change the cycle of beating each other up and putting one another down. Instead we need to pick each other up and rise… rise as one race, the human race. And we can do it, but only if we eliminate these stereotypes. For those of you who have said things like this but say, “I am not prejudice,” …You really are.